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Safety tips:
Don't give away to a complete stranger:
- your full name
- your home address and phone number
- your work address and phone number
Use an anonymous webmail-account like hotmail
or mail.com.
For the first date, choose a public place, like a restaurant, a café,
where you feel safe and there are people around.
Tell a friend where you are going, and when you expect to be back. If
you are late, call and let your friend know.
Don't get into a car with a stranger.
Don't rush into it. Try to learn about the other person via e-mail first
and be alert if he/she tells the truth, be extra careful or walk away
if you have a strange feeling about what he/she is telling you.
Insist on getting a photo of the person you want to meet beforehand.
If somebody doesn't want to send a photo, he/she may have something to
hide.
Arrange a phone call before you meet a person, the voice and use of words
can tell you a lot. Better make this call from a public phone - the person
might have a device to take note of your phone number.
Be suspicous when your possible date:
- provides inconsistent information about her/his age, looks, employment,
marital status, location, profession
- refuses to speak to you on the phone after some time of online conversation
- doesn't give answers to direct questions
- is different in person than he/she was online
- never introduces you to his/her family, friends, colleagues
Be sure to have a possibility to return home after the date - don't
rely on him/her giving you a ride, or to hike!
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Tips for your ad:
Take enough time to write your ad.
Your ad has to give an impression to the people who read it which kind
of person you are. (If you just write: enjoy sports and parties, that
could be everyone - mention some detail that will make you stand out from
the others!)
Describe yourself and be honest!
Write about yourself - your height and weight, ethnicity, hair style/colour,
eye colour and age. Be honest with your description - latest when you
actually meet somebody, it will turn out when you told lies about yourself.
(Like, when you described yourself as an 23 year old junior manager looking
like Brad Pitt, and you actually are a 55 years old and a little overweight).
If you don't tell the truth, you will disappoint your date, and you will
disappoint yourself - and make a fool of yourself when it comes to a personal
meeting!
Be creative!
Make your ad unique and outstanding with an original headline, memorable
experiences or quotes, or by showing a good sense of humour.
Describe exactly what you want
Who should the person you want to meet be? Be specific what you are looking
for.
What should the person look like? What should be his/her marital status?
Should he/she be smoker/non-smoker? Like to party, or be more domestic?
Should she/he have children or not? Are you looking for a date/romance/marriage?
List what's most important to you
If you enjoy nothing more than parachuting, say so. You don't want to
meet somebody who seems a good match, but suffers from Altophobia (fear
of heights).
List your hobbies and interests
If somebody does share interests with you, it's more likely he/she will
respond to your ad.
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Keep your ad in good taste
It will give you better responses from
people with serious interests.
Don't make a "shopping list"
Don't write lots and lots of criterias how your match should be - it's
better to describe yourself in more detail and let the reader decide if
he/she feels it's a match
Check for spelling and grammar
Before you press that "submit" button, check again if spelling
and grammar is right. Don't write your ad in capital letters only LIKE
THIS, it is regarded as very unpolite on the net.
Don't tell the history of your life
It's too early for that - it could bore people, and you do want to have
something left to say when you meet your date!
For security, do not include a personal contact
address in your ad (phone number, address, full name)
Use an anonymous e-mail account, or the contact possibility provided
by the provider of the dating-service you are using.
Always be polite
When somebody took the time to respond to your ad, be polite and corteous.
In case you can't reply to all responses to your ad, at least give them
a short e-mail telling them so.
If you promise to reply later, do so.
When you don't want to meet somebody, also let them know with a short
message, telling them thank you for your message, but you won't meet him/her,
and a polite explanation why not (already found somebody else, not enough
in common, ....), and good luck.
Never forget
the person you are dealing with is a real person, even if you know him/her
only through e-mail! It's a person just like you, who doesn't want to
be hurt in his feelings, and doesn't like to be rejected!
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